I’m a lazy mother.
Selfish and thoughtless. You want to know why? Because I want my children to be independent, initiative and responsible.
Working at a kindergarten, I watched a lot of examples of parental overprotection. Especially I remember three-year-old Colin. His mother thought that he must always finish his meals, otherwise he would lose weight. I do not know how she fed him at home, but he came to us with a clear violation of appetite. He mechanically chewed and swallowed everything he was given. And I had to feed him, because “he’s not able to do it on his own”. So I fed him on the first day and did not see any sort of emotion on his face, I rise the spoon – he opens his mouth, chews, swallows.
I asked: “Do you like porridge?” – “No.”
Then he opened his mouth, chews and swallows.
“Want more?” – I rise the spoon. – “No” – but still chews and swallows. “If you do not like it – do not eat!”
Colin’s eyes widened. He did not know that it is possible to do so.
First Colin enjoyed having rights to refuse food and drank only fruit compote. And then he began to eat what he likes, and refused eating food he didn’t like. He became independent in choosing. And then we stopped feeding him with a spoon because eating is a natural need. And a hungry child will feed itself.
I’m a lazy mother. I was too lazy to feed my children for a long time. When my child was 1 year old, I gave him a spoon and sat to eat next to him. When he was a year and a half he could already eat with a fork.
Another natural need – defecate. Colin did it in his pants. His mother told us to take the child to the toilet every 2 hours. As a result, at the garden the big kid waited until someone led him to the bathroom. Waiting too long, he peed his pants and did not even take them off or asked for help. A week later, the problem was solved.
“I want to pee!” – Colin said proudly, going to the toilet.
I’m a lazy mother. On weekends, I like to sleep a long time. One Saturday I woke up at about 11. My 2 year-old son was peacefully watching a cartoon, munching a cookie. He himself turned TV on and also found the DVD himself. The senior who was 8 was no longer at home. Recently he asked to let him go with his friend and his parents to cinema. I said that I was too lazy to get up so early and if he wanted to go to cinema, then he had had to get up and to get ready on his own. Of course, I didn’t sleep… I also set the alarm, listened how he was leaving, closing the door. I waited for an SMS from his friend’s mother, but it was left behind the scenes.
And I’m too lazy to check his boock bag, backpack for Sambo, to dry his clothes after the pool and to do homework with him (by the way, he gets good marks). And I don’t even take out the garbage, because my son does it on the way to school.
I also sometimes ask him to make me a cup of tea and bring it to my computer. I suspect that every year I will become lazier.
Be lazy parents, sometimes it’s better.