Why is it so hard sometimes to love yourself? We all know that if we can not do this, then no one else would love us.
Where do we take all our habits kick ourselves? Why do we get into this vicious circle, from which we can not find a way out?
Of course, the problems begin in childhood. The child perceives information about himself from the surrounding adults. The child isn’t able to independently determine he’s good or bad.He knows only that he lives, exists. Parents are those conductors through which the child begins to understand something about himself. And if the parents give the child enough attention, communicate with him, praise and help him, it paves the way for the development of a positive image of “Me”. I’m good!” If adults do not pay enough attention to their child and often do not approve his behavior, the baby is unlikely to have adequate self-esteem. Even if the adults in their criticism guided solely by good intentions, it does not bring good fruit. For example: “Look, Peter already reads in syllables, and you still can not learn!”. Maybe mom or dad want to pay less attention to their child in order to make him learn to overcome obstacles himself. But the son or daughter hears something like this: “I’m worse than Peter. Mom and Dad will love me, if I’ll be better than Peter, I need to learn to read.” Thus, children learn to understand that they are loved for something. But more often instead of the child’s achievements, his failures are in the spotlight.
Often happens that the requirements for children are too high. This is due to the fact that the parents have already decided to raise a genius. The child is loaded with an immense responsibility to be good for mom and dad… do homework, do the dishes, and many other things. Of course, the kid just can not cope with such a burden. Sometimes he wants to play or to take a walk and forget about everything! Received another rebuke, the child understands that he does not justify the expectations imposed on him. So there is a sense of guilt and low self-esteem.
But we have to love our children because they are! Just because this is happiness. It happens that parents afraid of spoiling children, but in practice occurs quite the contrary. Of course, you shouldn’t fall in permissiveness. The child must understand that you are unhappy with some of his actions, for example, breaking a vase. But he always remains your beloved child.
Already in childhood we can distinguish children with adequate self-esteem and low one. Representatives of good self-esteem are easier to establish contacts, more open for dialogue, active and not afraid to take the initiative, because they are not punished for it! Kids with low self-esteem, on the contrary, reserved, hardly-going and they are easier to take offense.
Love your children as they are, praise them for their achievements and tolerate their missteps. And maybe you were a child who did not have enough mom’s and dad’s attention? Then do not repeat their mistakes, and let your children feel real parental love.