We all want to be a little better in the new year. But in order to make room for new good habits we will have to give up the bad old ones. We have compiled a list of several steps on the way to self-improvement.
Get rid of the “habit of a programmer”
Many programmers admit that after years of work a HABIT TO OPTIMIZE ALL and to plan everything on basic operations has appeared. They think how to most effectively make coffee, take a shower, lay out clothes in the closet or food in the refrigerator, how to find the most successful route to the supermarket. Of course, this habit is not catastrophic, but over time it begins to annoy all the people around. In addition, an attempt to automate and simplify all trivial processes leads to constant frustration because to build ideally the life full of chaos is impossible.
Stop comparing yourself with friends on “Facebook”
SOCIAL NETWORKS fueled the already strongly developed habit to continually compare ourselves with others. But do not complain about your life, looking at photos of friends vacationing on a tropical island, or curse yourself because someone of your age has already managed to start a business, and you didn’t. Inner happiness depends on the adoption to the present moment, rather than on the desire to imitate others and to keep up with friends. Stop striving for being better than someone else and comparing yourself with fake pictures on “Facebook”. It’s not productive, but only awakens in us envy and anger.
Do not criticize if you aren’t ready to take the place of the criticized
There’s nothing wrong, if you point out the things that in your opinion should be changed. Especially if it is not idle accusations and comments related to the work. But if you use criticism, you should always be ready at any moment to take the place of the criticized. Will you be able to perform the same tasks as efficiently and competently? If yes it’s excellent. Just remember a few important rules:
- Speak to the criticized in private
- Start critisizing with appraisal
- Critisize the work (the behavior, actions), but not the person
- Watch your intonation
- Let the criticized express
Stop waiting for a miracle
MANY of us always wait for something important that will be “the revelation” and will push us for decisive action. It seems that the “real” life begins only at a certain point under the best circumstances: when the salary rises, after returning from vacation, after buying acar, after moving to another country. However, we should all understand that the future is only an image of our imagination, and everything that is real is “here and now”. Therefore, the main advice of psychologists at all times is to try to get the maximum benefit and enjoyment of every moment, and it is more important than any grandiose plans.
Do not stoop while walking
Your walk can influence the way you feel. In a study published in the Behavioral therapy and experimental psychiatry journal they say that when subjects walked stooped and shifted their shoulders forward, making minimal hand movements, their mood worsened dramatically. Those who walked straight and didn’t stoop felt a greater burst of energy and were in a good spirit.
Do not make your work a sense of life
For most people today WORK is a sense of their lives and the main indicator of success. Many live only for the sake of promotion. Diligent staff carefully follow official instructions, looking for projects that will open them up and reveal their skills and in the spare time and on weekends they work and study in refresher courses. As time passes, these employees get a lot of praise, but they don’t get promoted. Although they allowed the work to become the main reason of their existence, they don’t get the expected feedback. This makes us slaves of misperception of life and drives us to the depression, so in the new year you should look for the sense of life somewhere outside the office.
Uninstall the messengers in favor of live communication
If you chat with your friends and family mostly in the messenger and social networking sites, almost without live speaking, it’s time to change it. Communication on Facebook is not a real conversation: it does not allow us to fully understand the other person. Instead messengers reduce our emotions. To live a more or less full life, make sure that you have planned at least one meeting a week with friends, family and loved ones.
Stop all the time photographing on the phone
According to data published in the journal PSYCHOLOGICAL SCIENCE, PERMANENT PHOTOGRAPHY ON PHONE PREVENTS from remembering certain moments. In the study, participants of the experiment had a tour in a museum, one part of the group only watched the exhibits, and the other part was shooting them on phones. After that, participants filled out a questionnaire on subjects from museum and those who diligently clicked the shutter of cameras coped with it much worse. So the next time you travel, try to focus on the sights themselves, rather than on how they are better photographed.
Do not respond to aggression of colleagues
According to the TIME magazine , 35% of American servicemen (and that is 54 million people) face harassment from colleagues. According to PhD Erin K. Leonard, more than 70% of people witnessed bullying at the workplace. “Bullying by colleagues greatly reduces our sense of self-esteem and leads to emotional instability. And generally kills the desire to go to work, “- she says. In any situation don’t show emotions, as the aggressors only get pleasure by manipulating people’s feelings. Facing adversity, stay calm, do not blame yourself, do not lose your confidence and perform your job duties.
Do not go to the shops in a bad temper
The survey on CREDITCARDS.COM shows that 75% of Americans Resist the temptation to buy something that they absolutely do not need. Nearly half of these people feel guilty after it. It was found that most of impulse buying is done during an emotional recession just to boost the mood. For not to make mistakes in the future, try to visit the shops in a good mood, and if you decide to buy an expensive thing, it is better to put off buying a couple of weeks. If during this time you’ve changed your mind, then you don’t need this thing.
Stop constantly spending time in someone’s company
Sometimes we can not find time to be alone. However, many psychologists, for example, Erin K. Leonard emphasize the importance of these moments, whether it’s 10 minutes, an hour, a day or a whole weekend. Not spending time alone, you risk to acquire permanent anxiety and even fall into depression, says Leonard. During this time, you should consider, reflect and feel more independent.
Do not go to the sites that lead to procrastination
ADJUST news on Facebook and RSS-reader and you will feel how increases your effectiveness. Reflect on what sites you visit most often, and then try to cut them off, in fact they only waste your time, not bringing any benefit. Think about which sites you want to consciously avoid in the new year, and which, on the contrary, should be the main resources to help you achieve your goals.
Stop doing several things at once
WE OFTEN suffer from the fact that we try to do some things at a time simultaneously, although we know that multitasking is a myth and it does not work. We manage to have dinner, scroll on the laptop newsfeed on Facebook and to talk to someone on the phone at the same time. Researchers at Stanford University have compared the results of two groups of people, divided into those who believe that they do well in multi-tasking, and those who prefer to focus only on one thing. “Multitaskers” proved to be worse, they often had problems with self-organization and filtering irrelevant information. In fact, multi-tasking in the usual sense is the ability to switch between different things, and, theoretically, it is possible to train yourself to switch quickly from one task to another. But there is no evidence that it helps to do something qualitatively better.